CGT debate turns personal as Hipkins says Luxon earned more from property than being PM
2025-10-29 · lightly-fucked
Chris Hipkins has defended Labour’s proposed capital gains tax, saying it would fund free GP visits while calling out Christopher Luxon for earning more from untaxed property sales than from his prime ministerial salary. The exchange turned personal as both leaders framed tax fairness as a test of integrity heading into the next election.
Somewhere between a campaign launch and a class war, Chris Hipkins has revived the capital gains tax—New Zealand’s favourite policy ghost, doomed to haunt every election until the heat death of the sun. He says it’s about fairness and funding GP visits; Christopher Luxon says it’s about punishing success, which in local dialect translates to “please don’t tax my beach house portfolio.” Then, because the gods demand entertainment, Hipkins pointed out that Luxon made more flipping houses than running the country. It’s fucked, brilliantly fucked, in that peculiarly Kiwi way where everyone pretends to be middle class while owning three investment properties and a bach.
By mid-speech, Hipkins was promising free doctors, fair pay, and something called a “Medicard,” which sounds like a loyalty scheme for the under-funded. Luxon, meanwhile, was probably checking realestate.co.nz for another quick flip. The Greens hovered on the sidelines like eager tax interns, promising to go “further,” which usually means “make everyone hate us a little bit more.”
So here we are again: one party taxing the rich, the other defending the rich, both surrounded by rich MPs in suits worth more than a GP’s yearly ACC claim. It’s fucked because it’s familiar, fucked because it’s predictable, and fucked because nobody will actually pass the tax anyway. In the end, New Zealand will do what it always does—argue, stall, and quietly hope property prices keep going up. Nothing ever truly unfucks here; it just appreciates in value.
What’s fucked
It’s fucked because New Zealand’s political class is now arguing over who’s made more tax-free money while pretending it’s about fairness. The debate that should concern how to house people or pay for healthcare has collapsed into a passive-aggressive property pissing contest between two men with multiple homes.
What might unfuck
It could be unfucked if the conversation left the real-estate section and entered reality—where doctors are scarce, rents are high, and voters don’t care which millionaire pays the “right” kind of tax. A clean, coherent policy debate would do the trick, but this is not an election year (not that it matters), so good luck with that.
Odds of unfucking
44%